It never ceases to amaze me how little people think about how much information is in a loved one’s obituary. It IS a public record after all. It’s the first thing a thief looks at, especially in relation to medical identity theft. And when you’re deep in grief, the fact your loved one’s information has been stolen doesn’t make light until 3 or 4 months down the road
It started with a phone call a few months ago. I had a debt collector call me, in relation to my 1st husband. The creditor was very puzzled when I started laughing hysterically about a bill that by then had been in collections for maybe a year. I explained his collection was not valid. He claimed it was, could I prove it wasn’t valid? I replied i could verify the debt wasn’t even close to valid. He told me the date of the medical visit. October 28th 2025. I started laughing again. The creditor demanded to know what was so dang funny. I asked if he had dug up my husband’s grave and taken him to the doctor because the man had been dead 20 years by then. Dead silence on the other end of the phone before he asked if I had the death certificate. I asked him what the fax number was and I’d fax the death certificate over to him within the next 5 minutes. My 1st husband never had an obituary to be honest. i simply couldn’t afford it at the time. I was a newly young widow at the age of 34 and I’d spent months being his caregiver before cancer took him so there was very little money for extras, period. I still had the creditor on the line when he told me he’d gotten the death certificate. How old were you? came the question. I was 34 I replied. His supervisor came over and the debt collector quickly explained what was going on and the person they thought was a valid debt had been deceased for 20 years. Soon I had two grown men profusely apologizing over the mistake. They needed to correct the information immediately and inform the clinic they had billed a man who’d been dead 20 years and they needed to figure out and fix it. I thanked them and that was the end of it.
So what DOES go in and what doesn’t go into an obituary?
DON’T PUT IN:
Full Birthdate. Put the years only
Place of Birth
Mother’s maiden name
Full street address
Time of the service (have them call the mortuary)
Why not these things? Simple. The bank has security questions that require all these answers! Think about it. How many of the above do you answer when opening a bank account? when you’re deep in grief, this is one of the things most people don’t remember and they put ALL the information in, which is exactly what a thief wants to see on a public notice. I see the lightbulb that just lit up over your head.
So what do you put in for the obituary then that would still be considered a full tribute but that thieves can’t take to a bank to steal all your money or information that a medical identity theft can occur with?
This is what you put in to an obituary:
Put the age, not the birthdate
City and State only
First names of family
Work, Faith and stories
A memorial charity for the deceased if there is one.
After a loved one dies:
Mail a copy of the death certificate to Equifax, Experian or Transunion.
The one you mail the death certificate to, will alert the other 2 credit bureaus for you
TransUnion will flag the credit file with a deceased notice within 5 business days of getting confirmation of the death
If these things happen, you’re allowed to hang up the phone without apology.
Fake debt collectors calling about bills the family doesn’t owe. (You’d be amazed how many people come out of the woodwork looking for grieving families to prey on)
Funeral home bills from other states. They figure you’re grieving, you’re not gonna look closely to an envelope!
Donation links that go nowhere
Leave a Reply